finding respite in times such as these

June 30, 2016.

The first month of summer has already run its course. These past months have been filled with so many mixed emotions, sometimes it's hard for me to keep up. That seems to be a theme with my posts these days. 

Every other week we wake to tragedies on the planet. Floods, viruses, terrorists attacks, the list of the goes on and on. Some of my dearest friends have been battling their own challenges, serious challenges that life keeps throwing at us. Challenges that deal with health, cancer, rare and random diseases, death, loss, and heartache. You name it, this year has seen it all for my sphere of nears and dears. Often days we just want to catch a break. I mean like a serious break.

But at this same time I have found peace inside my studio and my painting practices to be growing stronger and brighter. My work about "what this existence as humans is all about.." keeps evolving at lightning pace, and I am fascinated with the images that are unfolding. 

I would like to share them here with you, looking for some feedback about how you personally respond to the abstracted imagery and selected titles and words. These paintings I feel are giving me some respite from the sadness, fear and anxiety that times such as these are doling out. I hope they give you a feeling of faith, hope, love and positive energy. Thank you so much for taking the time to read my posts and look at my works. Here's to a July that is kinder and gentler for the soul.

"id like to be unstoppable" mixed media on canvas 64"x60"

"our ascending hearts," mixed media on canvas 60"x60"

"migration" mixed media on canvas 60"x60"

my latest one, "maintain your faith," mixed media on canvas 60"x60"

All rights reserved by Laurie Maves ART.

(what happens when) waiting for the perfect painting studio

"My Warrior for the Feminine Divine" mixed media on canvas 72"x72" 2015  all rights reserved by Laurie Maves

Since my last Linked-In blog post, I have been patiently (who am i kidding - sometimes not so patiently) waiting for my new studio to come to fruition. In April I wrote the entry "Fliegen" Away on 4/15, as I was in the midst of packing up my desk, my paints, my easels, boxes of magazines, various collage materials, brushes, etc etc.  You name it, in the 2D art world of media, I was probably boxing, taping, and bubble wrapping those various materials away. I had to leave my 2000 square foot studio as my landlords were changing spaces, and I was along with them for the ride, so where they went, so did I.  At the time, I thought I might be down and out for only a month.  That was all well and good, because I was in the middle of my wedding and glorious honeymoon to one of my favorite countries on the planet, Italy. Honestly, I had many other thoughts on my mind in the month of May, than making that fourth grand 72"x72" painting of 2015, or completing the next commission on my log.

But now two months to the date have passed, and I'm still without a completed studio and boy is it really showing my over-achieving, anxiety-ridden, always need to be accomplishing something, dark side.  My newly-wed husband, who is gracious enough to cut a space out of his business's warehouse to create me a beautifully north-facing sunlit 1000 square foot studio, has been more than accommodating and supportive. "Take the summer off, Laurie. This is my busy season, and I only have spare guys to build your space when the company slows down, and we're super busy right now.  Take some time to be with your boys, relax, enjoy the summer, read some books, practice your Italian. I love you.  You know it's ok to slow down every once in awhile.  Take this time as a gift."

What??? Take the summer off??? Relax??? Enjoy the summer??? What does that mean? Is he crazy?

And the more time I went without a studio, the more I realized I was a certified downright art-making-junkie. I had been pushing my work, my paintings, my concepts, my social media so hard for so long - for over a decade - that I really didn't know what it meant to cool it.  Not to mention, I was an avid yogi as well. I have been practicing yoga for about the same amount of time I have been steadfastly pursuing my art career. So why is it that I cannot seem to practice my practice?

Why does it seem like even after all the Kris Carr, Mastin Kipp, and Deepak Chopra articles, podcasts and videos that I have absorbed like a sponge over the years that I cannot be at peace when I am not at work?

Is it because my art-making is more than a self-made job? More than a pay check and aspiring fancy career? Is it because I have a type A personality? Is it because I am a perfect example of a mom, who doesn't want to be categorized as a "soccer-mom" or "stay at home mom" because that somehow defines me as weak and less than? Is it because my over-achieving personality since childhood has its claws so deep into my guts that when the most important person in my life says, "hey honey take a break, you deserve it," that I feel guilty...almost as if that is impossible to do?

Why as 30-50 year old something women do we push ourselves to such crazy extremes only to find we are truly making our lives - even the most brilliant ones - more chaotic? Why do we beat ourselves up when we are not creating, achieving or being the best "mommy" on the block? Why is it so hard to just 'be"?

I'm still wondering about all of this about myself and about high-achieving mommies in general. And even more so, I wonder about this for creatives, artists, writers, and the like, when we seem to have the ability to have a dream job, dream husband, dream kids and it's still not enough to take the guilt away of not performing? Perhaps I need to sign up for another round of talk therapy to calm my nerves while I await my new warehouse studio's walls to go up. Maybe I should take a page out of my own Art Therapist's background and draw about my anxiety of not having a working studio I can run to. Maybe the creative process is SO innate in individuals like myself, that when people like me do NOT create, we do in fact go a little bit batty? I can't even begin to tell you I have the answer at the moment, and maybe that's life's process, to create this puzzle along the way that I am driven to put together and continually solve? Maybe I won't be asking these questions of myself 10 years from now, and maybe just maybe I can learn to chill the hell out this summer, when I don't have a shop up and running.

Is that possible?

Check back with me in thirty days, and I'll let you know. Studio or no studio, I'd better figure it out, read a book, draw in my journal, get a sun burn, and make some home-made focaccia.

"fliegen" away 4/15

The annual date of April 15th can drudge up a variety of thoughts, feelings and emotions for many. It is the national, "pay your taxes day." And for some that just makes us crazy, especially if you're a creative right brained sort of person. - Luckily I am a middle of the road left-brained artist. I am a creative, yet I desire to be extremely organized and efficient. I was able to be so very efficient this year, that I already submitted my taxes and even had a week to go!

For this artist, however, April 15, 2015 brings up a new date. It is a date that I will be closing my studio at 2590 W. 2nd Avenue in Denver, CO. It was a lovely space, it was open and it was grand. Almost 2000 square feet of creative space for all my grandiose ideas. I rented this space for the past 2 years, and what a beauty of a space it was. Anyone that walked into it was in awe, of the high ceilings, the opening garage doors and the wonderful vibe I had going there. I even hosted a few fundraisers and small concerts in the space. But alas, as what happens to most of the artists I know that are at the mercy of their landlord, mine is re-locating and therefore so must I.

Change.

The only consistent in life is that change happens. Over the last 15 years of making art in Denver, I have moved my studio at least 8 times that I can recall. I had 2 different spaces in an old school building that was eventually plowed to the ground to make a parking lot (just like the Joni Mitchell song), 2 spaces in the old Zook building in downtown Denver that was sold to make upscale urban apartments, 2 difference spaces on Inca Street, one space in the basement of a yoga studio in the famous Santa Fe Arts District, and then the masterpiece warehouse at 2590 W. 2nd Avenue in Denver. That's a lot of moving for sure.

So instead of packing everything up and moving again, for the meantime, I'm just going to pack up and store my large pieces and work small scale in my home until I can decide what my next greatest space will be. And even though I stressed about this decision at first, I am totally at peace with it now, because I know a new space will arise when the time is right that will be a perfect fit for what I need.

I actually am looking forward to challenging myself by working on smaller scale pieces and journals that I can sell online on eBayhttp://www.ebay.com/usr/lauriemavesart or via my ETSY pagehttps://www.etsy.com/shop/LaurieMavesARTsy . I will still be taking commissions, as well as working on my pieces for the grand exhibition I am having with Erica Jane Huntzinger at the Frank Juarez gallery in Wisconsin later this year, but I will not have to manage a ginormous studio space and that comes with a bit of relief.

So in a week it will be time to Fliegen - the German word for "FLY." And who knows where I will land next, but I know I must embrace the view along the way.

"Fliegen" Circle Painting from 2014. 24"x24" mixed media on masonite. all rights reserved by the artist. The original available for purchase.