(also published on LinkedIn)
Well folks, this blog entry seems to come at a time when I would most rather be celebrating. But unfortunately, I just discovered that I did not win this huge album art contest I had put a great deal of personal time and effort into. Some of you know that I had created a large mural painting on canvas for the German Band, Stanfour, hoping they would recognize a "true artist's" work and select an image created by my hands, bushes, paint and canvas, rather than a graphic design image made via the insides of a computer. I had spent an entire month creating this painting and image for the band. I had spent weeks making a time lapse video to share my process with the world. I promoted the band, I tweeted, I Facebooked, I blogged, I sent emails to my client base to support my work and vote for me!
Alas, all for the end result of coming in what seems to be third place (insert losing horn sound "waa waaa waaaaaa") You can see the results here on the Talenthouse website: https://www.talenthouse.com/i/design-the-official-cover-for-the-new-stanfour-album/submissions
For a sold minute, or two, or three, I was just plain pissed off. How could I have lost? I prayed about winning. I was mindful about my work. I had the support of a village behind me. I got "53 hearts" for crying out loud! The winner and second place only got 16 hearts a piece. I had done positive affirmations the past 24 hours that I had "already won" the #STANFOURCOVER contest. And then I logged into my computer and saw I had been defeated.
In my few moments of wallowing in self-pity, I realized that this isn't how I wanted my afternoon to go. I didn't really enjoy the self-wallowing. I really didn't enjoy looking at that webpage and seeing another artist had been selected. So what did I do next? I turned my head from my computer, I looked around my studio and I said a small prayer of gratitude, to the powers that be, to allow me to continue to create. I looked at my larger than life-sized paintings of Saraswati and Parvati (similar to the ones hanging in the image above) that I have a God-given gift to be a creative. And one win or one loss is not going to change who I am or what I do or my purpose on this planet.
I am the one that determines my worthiness.
I am the one that honors my true potential.
I am the one creating my own life's path.
If we continue to define our personal worthiness, by someone else's awards, we will ever only be just that - defined by others.
So back to the easel, back to the drawing board, back to the studio I go. I know my purpose on this planet is to make artwork, to make paintings, to honor a person's soul with imagery that I create by my own hands. And when others acknowledge my work, then great! But when I can take a moment to acknowledge my own worthiness, my own accomplishments, by own dear true and brilliant existence as Laurie Maves, my soul shines its brightest.
